She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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