He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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