It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
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Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I need to align my fucking chakras
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