Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
