im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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