i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
