Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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