wanna go halves on a baby?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.