...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
