if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
