She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
