I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
