Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
