Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
