she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
