I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Fuck appropriateness.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
