Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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