I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
