i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
