just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize