yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
