It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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