I'm lost and stupid without you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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