I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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