Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think your dad took our porno
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i think im in europe. pls send help
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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