So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
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All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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