Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
