He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
