marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
