How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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