My cat gives me a boner
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Found your dick twin last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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