Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
how does that bad decision feel?
I party with great urgency now.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
