Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
