Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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