It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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