Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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