shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
