Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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