if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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