I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
