Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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