I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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