The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Even my vagina gasped.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
