I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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