saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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