In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
