so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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