yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
