in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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