The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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