yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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