i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
