So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
