Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
