new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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