she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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