Me too!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
