PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am in a vortex of obligation.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
