I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
