i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
