Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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