I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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