I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
