Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
